Tired

I don't remember the last time I've been so tired.

So feed me a fistful of lies, broken promises and sorry's that came too late. Spice them up with stupid escuses and forgetting to call because I've gotten used to that taste. Finish it off with an "I'll do better next time" and an "I love you," just to surprise me. Lie to me. Hurt me. Deceive me. Ask for forgiveness and do it all over again.


It's okay. I can't imagine expecting more.

This Moment

And I believed love lasts forever so I didn't hold on tight
Didn't think I'd ever lose you so there was no need to fight
My heart, my soul, my everything; you were that plus more
But if we were meant to be, what was the fighting for?

But now I've learned the truth so I play the game much smarter
When it comes to fighting, I know to fight much harder
Because even though I don't know if we're supposed to be
I know my heart wants you and wants your heart to want me

So I'm standing in your arms, arms draped 'round your shoulders
Forgetting about the obstacles, right now we have no boulders
Looking in your eyes, and seeing parts of me
Holding on to the only person me loving I can see
Blanking out tomorrow and everything to come
Forgetting all other moments cause right now I know just one
Holding on to this one, getting a good grasp
Inhaling it in deep cause I'm not sure this will last

See I've learned the arguements will come and so will all the fights
And I've learned that I will deal with those along with sleepless nights
And I've learned that you'll get tired of me and me the same with you
And I've learned that sometimes neither of us will know the others truths

So I'm holding on to this moment; the one that matters most
Listening to your heart beat as I hold your body close
Forgetting the missed phone call and putting it out of sight
Because right now I know I need you; and I know that we feel right.

The Forgotten

I remember when I told myself forgetting would erase the hurt.

I used to think that when bad things happened, they only bothered you because they were fresh on your mind. If you simply forgot them, life would be easier. It's safe to say I was wrong. I tried my hardest to forget the bad that I forgot everything. I forgot the pain, I forgot the hurt, I for got the lies. But what scares me is, I forgot the good. I forgot what that happiness felt like.

And then you came and jogged my memory. I remebered the laughs, I remembered all the good times, but the hurt and pain didn't come back. I guess my mind forgot to remember that part. So you did it again. You left me with the same hurt and emptiness I felt before. But this time I can't blame you. You forgot. You forgot that we were supposed to conquer the world ... together. You forgot all the times we had. You forgot ... me.

It kinda hurts being the forgotten. So I've promised to remember ... EVERYTHING. I will NEVER forget again.

Angry and Hurt

I am absolutely furious so this might not make any sense but oh well...

Why do people think they get the right to tell me who I can and can not or should and should not like? Since when was that any one's responsibility but mine? People are telling me that I need to stick with the one I was with. No one knows he was a clown that disrespected me and treated me like I was some average chick on the street. No one knows that he don't care about my personality. Ask him what my favorite color is, my favorite thing to do, ANYTHING! I can promise you he won't know. And you have the right to tell me I belong with him? PLEASE!

And now I like someone who hurt me in the past but seems genuinely sorry. He seems sincere and even if he's not at least he is respecting me. And now you tell me I need not talk to him, that I need to leave him alone. You can tell me be careful, you can even give me a suggestion, but DO NOT tell me what to do.

I think that every one should make a vow to mind their own freaking business. Life would be so much easier. Maybe if you cared a little less about me and a little more about you, your life would be a little more interesting. *sigh*

And somehow, I'm no longer angry. I'm just a little bit hurt. :(

Convenience

I learned recently that people who walk out your life will try to enter back when they feel it's convenient for their schedules.

Isn't it funny how people are bold enough to leave you hurting, crying, and alone and have the audacity to expect you to be standing, waiting with open arms when they return? They use the same lines and games they used the first time and expect you to be naive enough to listen, to fall for it again. They even look surprised when you refuse. SUPRISED? pshhh.

It's times like these where I look at myself and see how much I've grown. A few months ago, I was begging for those who hurt me to walk back into my life, pleading for a part two. But now, I look at these people, these foolish people, and see how stupid they were to walk out of my life, as if I had nothing left to offer, like they were finished with me.

And now, as they find it convenient to walk back in, I find it convenient to give them my a** to kiss.

Crazy how life works, huh?

Failure

I'm pretty new to this blogging thing but I'm gonna give it a try...

Someone once told me that if I try my hardest at everything, I will fail at nothing. Before they give you that same advice, I will tell you now, they are lying.

Sometimes, you will put your all into something, anything, and it won't turn out the way you want it to. You will end up with tears in your eyes and a big glass of failure sitting beside you to comfort you. Because eventually, we all have to fail.

But then we remember how hard we worked, how much of ourselves we put into it, and we learn to except the fact that we tried our best and that's all we could give it.

And even though we've failed (because we both know we've failed), we can look at ourselves in the mirror and be proud to say we gave it our all.

I gave you my all. So I'm okay with saying I failed.